Fr. Brian O. McDermott, SJ

I celebrated fifty years in the Society of Jesus in 2006. At the time, there was, of course, the shock which comes with recognizing that one is THIS old!! But the predominant sense was one of immense gratitude to God for the mystery of this journey I have been on since the late summer of 1956 (yikes, I AM old—I guess!!). As I write this I am aware of several major threads that help form this ongoing tapestry-in-progress which God and I are fashioning.

The Society encouraged me to do graduate studies in Theology right after the Second Vatican Council. Those were exciting days for both the Church and theology. My Provincial said that he would be fine if I went to one of our theology centers or to one of our colleges or universities, but that he would prefer that I go to a theology center. Weston School of Theology hired me and I spend 27 wonderful years teaching systematic theology, Jesuit spirituality, spiritual direction, and a course about the dynamics of authority, leadership and spirituality in ministry. The Jesuit and lay students were the best, my colleagues were awesome! I sat in a tub of butter for 27 years!!

During my time at Weston I accompanied in spiritual direction a number of Jesuits, other religious and lay men and women. Sometimes I directed folks in the thirty-day Spiritual Exercises and in the 19th Annotation Exercises in Daily Life. I so enjoyed those experiences that, in the 90s, I offered my services as a tertian director and the Maryland and New York provincials accepted my offering. I have had the superb privilege of accompanying experienced Jesuits in their final formation period, the key feature of which is the thirty-day Spiritual Exercises. I’m about to begin the seventh such program.

The third major thread has been the experience, three times, of being the rector of a community engaged in education: first in Cambridge, then at Georgetown, and now at Loyola University Maryland. I have learned an immense amount about myself, the Society of Jesus, and the Holy Mystery of God as I have engaged in spiritual governance of the communities entrusted to my care. I have been a very fallible authority figure, but I have tried to be aware of the services formal authority, as exercised in the Ignatian tradition (including cura personalis for the individual Jesuit), can offer a community and the individuals who make up that community.

I have the strong sense that God, in God’s own mysterious way, has brought a number of passions in my life together: my love of theology, my joy in teaching, my concern for my brother Jesuits, and especially, my deep longing for God and for the Christ with whom God has placed me.

I can’t end this brief piece without acknowledging the wonderful gift of friendship I have been given in certain brother Jesuits, in members of my terrific family, and some special lay and religious men and women. It has indeed been a kind of “hundredfold” such as Jesus speaks about in Matthew’s Gospel, and it awes me. God’s love for me boggles my heart!