Fr. Ignatius "Hadi" Sasmita, SJ

Since September 2009, I returned to graduate studies for the doctorate of ministry program at the Pacific School of Religion in Berkeley, CA. The focus of my study is Muslim-Christian dialogue. This graduate study is the culmination of my initial desire during my novitiate long retreat, theological studies for my master's of divinity degree (MDiv) at the Jesuit School of Theology at Berkeley and my two years of pastoral ministry at St. Anthony’s Parish in Oceanside, NY.

During the MDiv program, I took a number of classes on Islam including “Introduction to Sufism.” Since Sufism is rooted in Islam, students in the class learned how to do salat, Islamic obligatory prayer, as the foundation for further Sufi practices. After I had completed the class, I began to reflect on its impact on my life as a Jesuit priest. I know very well that Islam does not have a theology of incarnation. While Muslims believe that Jesus is a prophet and a messenger of God, they do not believe that God became flesh and blood in the person of Jesus (John 1:14). However, Islamic obligatory prayer is very incarnational because Muslims stand, bow, prostrate, sit and move their hands, arms and heads during prayer. My learning of the salat makes me realize that within my Catholic tradition that believes in incarnation, we sometimes pray more in the head than Muslims do. We talk about God’s becoming flesh and blood but do not express that mystery of the incarnation in our worship using our whole body. Because of this experience, I take the mystery of the incarnation more seriously into my ministry.

In my ministry to various Indonesian communities, in addition to preaching about Christ, I often introduce to them sacred dance as an incarnational form of prayer in a weekend retreat or a day of recollection. Taize songs accompany the prayer movement that I share with the Indonesian Catholics in the San Francisco Bay Area and New York Metropolitan area. This simple, sacred dance enriches and expands their practices of prayer. Taking the mystery of incarnation seriously with body movement for prayer also leads me to pay respectful attention to the rubric in the Roman Missal. The rubric usually indicates bodily gestures and positions for the presiding priest. I find myself to be following the rubric, not out of enslavement to the rules, but rather from a deeper respect for expressing the mystery of the incarnation through my body movement.

While I learned a little bit about Zen during my MDiv program, I never participated in Zen sitting meditation until my time at St. Anthony’s Parish. I began to join a small group of Zen meditation about once a month at the Tabor Retreat Center near the parish. Because of the similarity to Centering Prayer, which I have practiced for over ten years, I find Zen practice easily compatible. Through Zen, I learned to appreciate the sacraments more deeply. Greater awareness deepens the meaning of each celebration of the sacrament. In a tangible way, it means that I use any sacramental symbols more generously, proceed through celebration without rush but rather with mindfulness, and the use of fewer words allowing sacramental symbols and mysteries to speak for themselves to the people’s heart. I notice that with theological learning comes the temptation to explain everything comprehensively. Zen meditation and Centering Prayer have trained me to be as indifferent as possible, such that I can practice the Ignatian discernment of listening to the Holy Spirit regarding what to say and when to be silent. Whenever I give a homily or a talk, this combination of spiritual practices makes me aware and humble that no amount of my words will ever cover any topic to its fullness. Discernment of when the Holy Spirit speaks and when my ego wants to blabber must continue in my ministry.

The most important agent of priestly formation for me is the people of God. During my pastoral ministry at St. Anthony’s Parish and the Indonesian Apostolate, I accompanied and participated in significant events of people’s lives, such as baptism, sickness, marriage, settling in a new house, reconciliation, and death. No matter how much theological study I have, nothing replaces these concrete encounters with the divine presence in God’s people. Through these encounters, my heart has experienced joy, jubilation, gratitude, hope, sorrow, powerlessness, helplessness, brokenness, love and forgiveness. When I feel helpless, powerless and even brokenness, I often face a temptation to be stoic and tough thinking that the heart of a Catholic priest must be immune and impervious to any emotion or feeling. Slowly I came to realize and embrace that the Sacred Heart of Jesus is not a heart of stone; his heart is not feeling-proof, impenetrable to any human condition. Through God’s people and their diverse experiences, God is molding, expanding and forming my heart to become like the Sacred Heart of Jesus.

The breadth and depth of interreligious learning has enriched my ministry to English and Spanish speaking parishioners and Indonesian Catholics. Through discernment of pastoral ministry, I sense God’s call for further interreligious study. However, nothing replaces direct encounters with God’s people for a more deeply grounded experience of God’s work. Hopefully through advanced study and pastoral ministry, I can become a bridge across cultures and religions allowing people to experience God’s love and abundant grace, not only within one’s own tradition, but also in others’ traditions.